'''Have I Got News for You''' is a
British television panel show; produced by
Hat Trick Productions for the
BBC. It is based loosely on the
BBC Radio 4 show ''
The News Quiz'', and has been running since
1990. The show has cultivated a reputation for sailing close to the wind in matters of
libel with its satirical, light-hearted format.
The
BBC have signed up for the show to run until at least its 38th series; given that two series are broadcast every year, this would bring it to the end of
2009.
[1]
Participants
The original line-up, from
1990 to
2002, was
Angus Deayton as chairman, with
Ian Hislop, the editor of ''
Private Eye'', and comedian
Paul Merton as team captains. Each captain is accompanied by a guest, usually a
politician,
journalist or
comedian, or somebody particularly relevant to recent news.
Merton took a break from ''Have I Got News for You'' during the eleventh series in
1996, making only one appearance as a guest on Hislop's team. He was replaced as opposing team captain by various people, most notably
Eddie Izzard. Merton later explained that at the time he was "very tired" of the show and that he thought it had become "stuck in a rut". Nevertheless, he added that he felt his absence gave the programme the "shot in the arm" it needed and that it had been "better ever since".
[2]
In
2002, following allegations in the
UK tabloids linking Deayton with
prostitutes and
drug use, the host was asked to resign from the show. Merton hosted the first episode after Deayton's departure, and was described as "merciless" in his treatment of his former co-star.
[3]. A series of guest hosts appeared for the remainder of the season. Hislop, therefore, is the only person to have appeared in every episode — despite suffering from a burst
appendix shortly before one edition and having to go to
hospital immediately afterwards.
Having a different guest host each week proved successful, with average audience figures increasing from 6 million to 7 million, and it was announced in
June 2003 that it would be a permanent feature of the show.
Format
''Have I Got News for You'' began on
BBC Two on
28 September 1990 and transferred to
BBC One in
October 2000. "Myself and Ian, we did a disastrous pilot for it," Paul Merton explained nine years later.
[4] "It was a beautiful
summer's afternoon in 1990. Far too nice to be in a television studio, but I think the BBC had already bought it, so that's how it became a series."
Two series are made every year: the
spring series between
April to
June comprises eight episodes and the
autumn series between
October to
December contains nine, with a one-week break to allow the broadcasting of
Children in Need.
Over an hour's worth of material is recorded for each 30-minute programme on
Thursday evenings for broadcast on
Friday, allowing the programme to remain topical while the BBC's lawyers have time to request cuts of potentially libellous material. "No reviewer could possibly review it in that time. We started off with an audience of two million, and somebody might have mentioned it to their friend, and then it sort of built up a momentum of its own."
[4]
In recent years, the late-night weekend repeat has occasionally contained extra material from the week's recording. This became a permanent feature from the spring
2007 series, with the repeat having a running time of 40 minutes, and being titled (in the TV listings) ''Have I Got a Bit More News for You''.
The programme is recorded at
the London Studios, former home of
London Weekend Television, although the
2001 Election special episode was recorded at
BBC Television Centre on the Friday morning after the election. The quiz aspect and scores are largely ignored in favour of the panellists' witty exchanges and jokes, and the format seems to change frequently.
"There's been a lot of confusion, with people saying, 'Well, they see the questions beforehand,' which we do," revealed Merton in 1999. "But some people say we see the ''answers'', which we don't, because that would rob it of being a quiz."
[4]
Footage then cut to a ''Have I Got News for You'' rehearsal on
April 22,
1999, featuring the guests for that evening's show,
Paul Daniels and
Charlie Whelan.
[7] At that point, Hislop was one game ahead in the series, the first such occurrence since the show began, which Hislop ribbed Merton about in the make-up room beforehand. "Paul and Charlie, this is yours," began Angus Deayton. "What is the story behind these bits of film? You'll only see it once on the night, but here it is again."
"There is a certain amount of showbusiness that goes on in putting on a show," continued Merton. "We found very early on that it's worth seeing the questions beforehand so that you can work out your depth of ignorance. If you really don't know, you think, 'Well, I've really got to try and say something here.' It's much better to be doing that for ten or fifteen minutes before the show than be doing it when the cameras are rolling, in front of an audience, going, 'Well, who's he?'"
[4]
"
Norman Tebbit wrote an article in ''
The Mail on Sunday'' criticising the whole programme: 'Well, of course ''Have I Got News for You'' is all edited. These people, they couldn't improvise live. You put them on a stage, they wouldn't be able to improvise.' Well, when Norman Tebbit said I couldn't improvise, I was... [''blows out cheeks and then goes silent'']."
[9]
Opening
Proceedings usually begin with a one-liner. In the time of Angus Deayton, these took the form of such quips as:
:"Good evening and welcome to ''Have I Got News for You'', the show that's done for Friday and Saturday nights what ten pints of
lager does for Sunday mornings."
:"Good evening and welcome to ''Have I Got News for You'', the show that does for comedy."
More recently, with the guest presenters, these have been amusing comments referring to the hosts themselves, such as
:"Good evening and welcome to ''Have I Got News for You''. My name is
Boris Johnson and when I last appeared on this show, I complained that it was fully scripted and rehearsed. I'd now like to complain, in the strongest possible terms, that it isn't."
:"Good evening and welcome to ''Have I Got News for You''. My name is
Dara Ó Briain. Yes, it's only a week after the
General Election and already an immigrant is doing this job... You really should have listened to
Michael Howard."
:"Good evening and welcome to ''Have I Got News for You''. My name is
Alexander Armstrong, and if I seem familiar to you, it's because I'm a regular on
ITV. ''
Footballers' Wives'', ''
Coronation Street'', ''
Emmerdale''. You name it, I've done some adverts in the middle of it."
In one episode, guest host and British
Indian comic
Sanjeev Bhaskar opened the show in
Punjabi.
Following this, "In the news this week...": three video clips are displayed, each supplied with a scripted, humorous caption from the host who then proceeds to introduce that week's guests, with a jocular remark for each.
Main section
The main section of the show comprises several rounds, although, as noted above, this is liable to change. They usually consist of the following:
★ The "Film Round" is first, in which silent news video clips are played to the teams, who then identify them and add their own views, including rants and
jokes on vaguely relevant subjects.
★ Next, the "Tabloid Headlines" round, in which the panellists must identify and comment on the stories of the week from sufficiently pun-filled
tabloid headlines.
:
Deayton: " 'Smile, your cheque's in the post'."
Merton: "''Hello!'' magazine celebrating ten years?"
Deayton: "Might be."
Merton: "Is it?"
Deayton: "Yeah."
Merton: "After intense interrogation, I weasled it out of you."
★ In recent series, the latter has been replaced with either the "Picture-Spin Quiz", where a picture is spun around and the teams have to guess what news story it is related to or the "Wheel of News", in which the host spins a wheel and the teams have to guess how the resulting person or object is relevant to the week's news.
★ In some cases it could even be some kind of topical
buzzer round, but is sometimes replaced with a quiz game pertinent to the current guests, for example a mock ''
Mastermind'' game when
Magnús Magnússon appeared and a "Kick
Blair's Butt" quiz when Boris Johnson MP guest hosted for the first time.
★ Next comes the "Odd One Out" round where four personalities, characters or objects are presented to a team, whereupon it must identify the interloper, and the topical, amusing or ridiculously obscure link between the other three. In one episode, Merton's "Odd One Out" selection consisted of 16 images and in another, the round comprised four photos of
Michael Howard.
★ After that tends to come the "Missing Words" round, where newspaper headlines are displayed, with choice words blanked out. The panellists then suggest what these could be. Also usually featured is an obscure "guest publication" from which some of the headlines are taken. In the past, these have included ''Goat World'', ''Arthritis News'', ''International Car Park Design'' and ''Diarrhoea Digest''. Examples of Missing Words are "I'll take Edward up the _____", "Church may be forced to sell _____" and "PM sucked into _____".
★ Occasionally, just after the final scores are read out, there is a Caption Competition, where potentially amusing pictures are shown, to which the panellists are invited to provide an apt headline.
Despite the fact that Merton is a comedian and Hislop a current affairs magazine editor, the former usually wins, often by answering questions that were actually addressed to the other team.
Rounding off
Deayton typically rounded up the scores with amusing summaries, such as "This week's
dog's dinners are [...], while this week's dog's bollocks are..." He also awarded 'prizes': for example "So, for our winners: the chance to go to
Michael Portillo's constituency and see the count. For our losers: the chance to retype that sentence without the spelling mistake." The host then thanks the guests and ends with "I leave you with news that...", providing scripted, satirical captions to a further few pictures.
Notable moments
''The Very Best of Have I Got News for You'' DVD cover. L-R: Ian Hislop, Angus Deayton, Paul Merton.
★ One of the biggest laughs of the show's first year came when the Missing Words round posed the question '"I made
Thatcher ____ ", boasts
Nigel', to which Merton (perhaps spurred on by the presence of
Tony Slattery on Hislop's team) suggested, "
Swallow?" Deayton replied, "No, it's not a reference to
food."
★ When forced to apologise to
Ernest Saunders for suggesting his bout of
Alzheimer's, which got him released from
prison (after 10 months of a 5-year sentence) and from which he had subsequently recovered, seemed a bit too convenient, the show (via Deayton) added that Saunders was a swindler and con-artist. As he had originally been jailed for
fraud, he could hardly complain again.
★ When
Roy Hattersley failed to appear for the
4 June 1993 episode — it was the third time he had cancelled at the last minute — he was replaced with a tub of
lard (credited as "The Rt. Hon. Tub of Lard
MP"), as it was "imbued with much the same qualities and liable to give a similar performance". The Tub of Lard was on Merton's team and, though Hislop suggested things were too formal and suggested they name the 'guest' "Tubby", Merton insisted: "Mr Lard to you." He and the lard went on to win. This was despite the fact that Merton's team's questions were made deliberately hard — especially those directly posed to his 'guest'. The Missing Words round featured foreign headlines, in languages such as French, German, Russian and even Japanese. The final one was in English, but the entire headline had been blanked out. As part of
Comic Relief in
2001, the charity programme ''Have I Got Buzzcocks All Over'', a combination of ''Have I Got News for You'', ''
Never Mind the Buzzcocks'' and ''
They Think It's All Over'', had a round called "Feel the Politician", in which Roy Hattersley appeared holding a tub of lard.
★ For Series 7, Episode 8, in
1994,
Salman Rushdie was a guest. He almost did not get to be on the show, even TV listings billed the show as featuring a return appearance for the Tub of Lard. When his police guards were asked if it was possible for Rushdie to do a quiz show in 1994, they at first refused, but when they heard it was ''Have I Got News for You'' they changed their minds because they liked the show. Rushdie later said his son was more impressed that he had been on ''Have I Got News for You'' than by anything else he had done.
★ In a
1995 episode, featuring noted British
impressionist Mike Yarwood, the panellists were instructed to mimic various famous people. By a method of "random selection", the first one was
Harold Wilson, which had been intended for Yarwood, but Paul Merton wanted to do it himself, as he claimed, "We need the points". Also in that round, Ian Hislop was made to do an impression of bald pop star
Jimmy Somerville, whom, it had long been joked, he resembled. Hislop noted afterwards, "I can't see myself doing ''
Question Time'' again."
★ When
Piers Morgan was a guest in
1996, he came across as very thin-skinned and demanded the others (and in particular, Hislop) cease their "vindictive attacks" on him as he "demanded his privacy".
Clive Anderson (replacing Merton as team captain that week) scathingly joked that the ''
Daily Mirror'' was now, thanks to Morgan, almost as good as ''
The Sun'', and when asked by Morgan, "What do you know about editing newspapers?" replied, "About as much as you do". In what was not Morgan's finest moment, when shown his question in the Odd One Out round (
Rupert Allason;
Sting; a
koala; Geoffrey Clements) he responded, "Is the answer 'jam'?" in reference to a joke made by
Eddie Izzard the previous week, saying, "Last week Eddie Izzard said it and everyone roared with laughter as if it was hilarious." Hislop retorted that Izzard got a laugh because "People like him". When Hislop successfully made the 'jam' joke later in the programme, Morgan replied, "Don't play the popularity line with ''me'', Hislop", before appealing to the audience: "Does anyone like him?" The audience responded loudly in favour of Hislop. In his autobiographical book, ''The Insider'', Morgan claims that he was joking throughout and was surprised that viewers took the arguments seriously.
★
Conservative Member of Parliament and journalist
Boris Johnson has had several memorable appearances on the show, which arguably raised his public profile and later led to him being asked to be a guest presenter. The first, in
1998, Johnson seemed to take the ribbing in good humour and eventually admitted defeat and announced that he wanted it "on the record" that he'd "walked straight into a massive elephant trap". In a later appearance in
2001 he was subjected to a spoof round of ''
Mastermind'' where he managed to get his name wrong before being asked questions on the then leader of the Conservative Party,
Iain Duncan Smith, ending up with a score of 0.
★ During an episode broadcast in
1999, Merton looked upwards (with a thoughtful expression on his face). The scene then switched to a "daydream" of Merton and Hislop skipping through a sunny field together and smiling. This rather nonsensical aside drew laughter from the audience, as well as the two guests. These clips were reused in the episode hosted by
Joan Collins, in a mock-up of the opening credits of ''
Dynasty''. Merton later revealed that it had taken him eight years to convince the show's successive producers to include the gag.
★ When ex-
MI5 agent
David Shayler was a guest on the show in
2000, a television set was placed on the desk, showing him in a studio elsewhere — supposedly in
Paris, where he was in hiding from
Official Secrets Act charges. Merton, upset by the idea (a guest on a two-second delay worked against his theory that
comedy is based on timing) switched the set off at one point. Later, in protest, he left his seat, and proceeded to shake hands with audience members in the front row, before collecting a newspaper and settling back down to read it. In addition, the feed was "interrupted" at one point (as Shayler began to 'reveal' a mock-secret) by a five-second sequence involving a naked woman and a ferret. This was a reference to an incident whereby the then recently-launched
Channel 5 was interrupted by pornographic television transmissions from France. When the show is repeated, the sequence is replaced by one of people playing tennis in a
nudist colony.
★ When Sir
Elton John failed to appear as billed in
2001, he was replaced by a "
look-alike" called Ray Johnson, who never spoke. Each time the scores were recapped, captions appeared on the screen, advertising, praising or saying something about Ray, whilst at the same time, saying something derogatory about Elton, for example, how Ray would never let anyone down, "unlike Elton. Bastard." Ray was credited as Ray "Elton John" son.
★ On the episode where the main news story of the week had been the allegations about Deayton, the presenter was made the butt of almost every joke. The show opened as normal, but as soon as he asked Hislop the first question, Merton said, "This has been one news story of the week but the one I'm really interested in, Angus, is..." He and Hislop then managed to turn nearly every subsequent question into a comment on Deayton's behaviour. The host took the light-hearted abuse well, opening the show with: "Good evening and welcome to ''Have I Got News for You'', and this week's loser is presenting it," later adding, "Do not adjust your set, my face really is this red." Towards the end of the show Merton pretended to apologise for his behaviour and on behalf of his opposing captain for going to the trouble of bringing in newspapers showing the headlines, before unzipping his jacket to reveal the relevant ''
News of the World'' front page printed on his t-shirt. During the end-of-show retakes, Deayton commented on the teams' low scores. Merton replied, "It wasn't the winning that was important tonight: it was the being here.
★ The first real 'guest' presenter was
Anne Robinson, and at the beginning of the show, during her opening greeting, she pointed to the fact that on a previous show Paul Merton had mocked her about her famous wink that she did on ''
Points of View'' and ''
The Weakest Link'', saying that it made her look like she had had a
stroke. So after declaring that there were no hard feelings, she proceeded to give Ian Hislop five points. However, when Hislop made continual
Robert Maxwell references during the course of the episode (alluding to the large payments Robinson received from her former employer), she gave Merton more points. Merton then went on to lampoon ''The Weakest Link'' ("I only watch the last five minutes because ''
The Simpsons'' comes on afterwards. It's nice to see some animation on the television screen"). In another reference to ''The Weakest Link'', Merton shouted "Bank" at a random point.
★ The final show of the second guest-presented series, in
2003, was hosted by
Bruce Forsyth. Forsyth's game-show trademarks and clichés were parodied during the show. He opened with a modified version of his famous catchphrase, "Have I got news for you, for you have I got... NEWS!" Rounds included "Play Your
Iraqi Cards Right" (a parody of ''
Play Your Cards Right'') and, instead of the usual Odd One Out round, one in which the contestants had to remember a number of items on a conveyor belt (including the obligatory
cuddly toy), and then work out the connection between them (a parody of a similar game in ''
The Generation Game''). A great deal of humour was also derived from Ian Hislop's ignorance as to the format of Forsyth's shows, meaning he was left in utter confusion as to what was going on at any point. Forsyth has attributed his recent renewed success to his appearance in the programme. At one point during the show Forsyth stated, "This could be the end of my career!" In one of the extras in the ''Best of the Guest Presenters Vol. 1'' DVD, where Hislop and Merton discuss what the guests were like, it was mentioned that someone complained that "Play Your Iraqi Cards Right" was one of the worst taste jokes ever on the BBC. However a suggestion by a member of the production team would have seen it called "Play Your
Kurds Right".
★ In
2004,
Robert Kilroy-Silk was fired from his position as host of a daytime chat show (''Kilroy'') by the BBC, following an article he had written for the ''
Daily Express'' entitled "We owe Arabs nothing", which was widely condemned as racist. He appeared on ''Have I Got News for You'' a few weeks later and after being constantly interrupted by his team mate, Paul Merton launched into a tirade against the former MP. In answer to his claim that Arabs had contributed nothing to society in the last 500 years, Merton said, "
Shakespeare hasn't done much in 500 years either. What's your contribution been, Robert? Say in the last twenty years. When you weren't doing your show. When you weren't doing that crap show, what's your contribution been to society?". The unedited clip on the ''Best of the Guest Presenters Vol. 2'' DVD shows Merton losing his temper at Kilroy-Silk for persistently interrupting during the Odd One Out round, telling him repeatedly to "Shut the fuck up!"
[10]
★ The
3 December, 2004 episode was chaired by
Neil Kinnock. He struggled to keep on top of things at times, and was subject to pretty rough handling all round, particularly from
Will Self, who notably accused him of hypocrisy for accepting a position in the
House of Lords, and comedian
Linda Smith, who complained that a ginger kitten would have been more effective in the
1992 election campaign.
★ The
22 April,
2005 episode, after the election of
the new pope, featured Merton repeatedly talking about him having "the eyes of a killer", under the pretense that if he said it often enough the show's editors would have to include it.
★ The
29 April, 2005 episode was chaired by veteran presenter
Nicholas Parsons. Sections of the show were changed to emulate ''
Just a Minute'' (the
Radio 4 comedy quiz hosted by Parsons on which Merton is a frequent panellist) and ''
Sale of the Century''. Fellow guest
Julia Hartley-Brewer argued that Parsons was like some "decrepit old grandfather", and Parsons offered to take her to his dressing room "and show you there's nothing decrepit about me!". After the cheers died down, Merton chipped in, "He might have to take a lift though!"
★ On the
3 November,
2006 show, Paul managed, with the help of team mate
Ross Noble, to end the show with no points at all, much to the delight of Ian, as it was his first win of the series and allowed him to equal Paul's record winning tally of 13 points.
★ On the
15 December, 2006 show, Paul spent much of the episode insisting that
Prince Philip killed
Princess Diana (an accusation first made by
Mohamed Al-Fayed). He also commented that the Queen wears a baseball cap while she's at home that reads, "I Killed Princess Diana".
Boris Johnson, the host, said, "I'm sensing a bit of a republican streak." At the very end, when a Christmas cracker was pulled, Merton instantly replied to the joke, "Did you know Prince Philip killed Diana?". Merton made a similar joke on the
25 May 2007 edition when he claimed that Prince Philip caused the then recent ''
Cutty Sark'' fire.
★ On the
18 May,
2007 show, guest host
Chris Tarrant was annoyed by Hislop and his guest panellist
Lembit Öpik talking about caravanning. Hislop then said, "We're just talking about a man and his
caravan, not someone throwing
spoons at anyone or speeding to any unknown love destinations." (A reference to the controversies surrounding Tarrant at the time.)
Running gags
★ It was a tradition on the show that particularly scurrilous accusations were suffixed with the word "allegedly" (in the style of British satirical magazine ''
Private Eye'').
★ The longest
running gag in the programme first emerged in 1992 when Merton revealed that he achieved a
CSE ungraded qualification in
metalwork at school in an effort to prove the rather less classical nature of his education in comparison to Hislop's. As of 2005, this gag is still occasionally made. This originates from both Merton's appearances on ''Just a Minute'' and his stand-up routine. In the commentary on the original ''Best of'' DVD, Merton states that he had a conversation with
Stephen Fry about this "stupid metalwork thing" and had trouble convincing Fry that it was in fact true and not just made up for the sake of comedy.
★ During Deayton's time at the helm, a one-liner he used occasionally was "I think I've just lost the will to live".
★ In the early years of the show, Merton took to insisting that certain women (namely the
Princess of Wales and the
Duchess of York, among others) were 'over-blown tarts'.
★ The issue of
Jason Donovan's sexuality cropped up frequently in the early years, following his
libel suit against magazine ''
The Face''.
★ After an article appeared in a newspaper about Deayton's life with
1970s singer
Stephanie de Sykes, Merton spent a whole series claiming he actually lived with
Eric Sykes.
★ Deayton's choice of a brown suit (apparently it was actually red, but showed up brown under the studio lighting) for one episode in 1992 led to ridicule, after which Merton would refer to any article of clothing he wore as "brown".
★ Hislop and Deayton started a rumour in
1993, that Deayton, who had recently been voted "TV's Mr Sex", had been "shagging Merton's wife", who was, at the time,
Caroline Quentin. The joke was accentuated by light-hearted flirting between Quentin and Deayton when she made guest appearances on the show. In one edition of ''Have I Got News for You'', the panel discussed Merton being mistaken by several members of the public for disgraced footballer
Paul Merson. Merton explained that this had resulted in phone calls which had awoken his wife. Hislop apologised for any inconvenience caused to Quentin, but Deayton responded that he had not been disturbed.
★
John Prescott's alleged appetite and weight is the subject of continual ridicule. On one episode guest host
Michael Buerk said, "People should stop tip-toeing around him," as Merton added, "It would take a bloody long time."
★ Merton occasionally jokes about Hislop constantly losing, or being out of touch with popular culture. Some of the other guests have picked up on this. After being asked a question about
Wayne Rooney recently, his fellow team member
Julia Hartley-Brewer said, "Do you know who Rooney is?"
★ Hislop's magazine ''
Private Eye'' is also sometimes the subject of a joke, usually involving the number of lawsuits the magazine has received, or the number of readers it has. When Boris Johnson appears on the show, his magazine ''
The Spectator'' is on the receiving end of similar jibes. Hislop once said that he knew only three people read it, but he didn't realise that they were Boris and his parents.
★ During
Jonathan Aitken's time in prison, he was referred to as "Prisoner CB9298".
★ After
Jeffrey Archer was convicted of
perjury in 2001, Merton would refer to him as "Jeffrey Archer, the liar".
★ When
Peter Mandelson was "outed" by journalist
Matthew Parris on ''
Newsnight'', the BBC clamped down on any reference to the former minister's sexuality. ''Have I Got News for You'' chose not to follow this directive. For example, whenever footage of Mandelson was shown, his eyes were blanked out, in order to protect his 'anonymity'. On another occasion Hislop commented of Mandelson that "We're not allowed to say he's a home (and then following a brief pause to insinuate the word "homosexual") owner", to which Merton replied "What's wrong with gay people owning homes?" (A reference to stories about
Mandelson having a conflict of interest over a loan to purchase a house, which led to his resignation.) Hislop also described Mandelson as a "friend of
John Birt", a reference to both the ban itself and the term "
friend of Dorothy".
★ A recurring clip of
Charles Kennedy at a nursing home, attempting to
bowl and missing the pins completely — despite them being a small distance from him.
★ Throughout a whole series, Paul Merton managed to slip at least one reference to
jet packs into each episode, believing that because they had appeared in
James Bond films 30 years ago, they should be available to the public today. He went on to accuse the government of hoarding them, and the
Queen Mother of having five.
★ Paul Merton also has a tendency to misunderstand the host when giving incorrect answers, and coming back with exactly the same answer, to comic effect. For example, in a Missing Words round when he gave the answer "international rubber stamps", Angus Deayton replied, "More precisely?". Merton then repeated the same answer, taking care to stress every word. A similar thing occurred on
3 November 2006. When asked what would happen if all the power stations switched off, Paul replied "It would go dark at night".
Alexander Armstrong (guest host) said "More sinister, even, than that." Merton repeated the answer, but with a strong
vampire accent.
★
John Simpson's experience with drugs is occasionally referred to, notably during the Tub of Lard episode, where Paul Merton asked, "Am I in one of John Simpson's trips? I'm sitting here with a tub of lard answering questions in German!"
★ During his spell as leader of the
Conservative Party,
Iain Duncan Smith was subject to a great deal of ridicule on the programme. In particular, Merton insisted that he was in fact two people: Iain and Duncan Smith. On discovering that his full name was actually George Iain Duncan Smith, Merton cried, "There's three of them?"
★ Presumably because of the
"something of the night about him" incident,
Michael Howard was frequently implied to be a
vampire or one of the
undead in general. Around the
2005 General Election, Hislop referred to Howard as "going back to his crypt" when footage of him descending some steps was shown, and during series 26, Hislop referred to him in the past tense ("He died ''years'' ago"), while Merton asked host Boris Johnson if it was true Howard cast no reflection. This joke returned when
Ann Widdecombe hosted and Ian Hislop described the person who made the comment as "some cheap comedienne".
★ Possibly due to Robert Kilroy-Silk's performance in a 2004 episode (see Notable Moments), for a number of weeks afterwards, a clip of Kilroy-Silk introducing his TV show ''
Shafted'' with the words, "Their fate is in each other's hands, as they decide whether to share, or to shaft" (with appropriate hand gestures) was played in each episode at the flimsiest of excuses. It resurfaced in the autumn season of
2006. During the 2004–05 series, after Robert Kilroy-Silk's lack of success with
UKIP, he was frequently ridiculed for both his tan and getting covered in a bucket of slurry, leading Merton to refer to the incident as "When the shit hits the tan".
★ A recurring joke in the Spring 2005 series (Series 29) was that Hislop would be the next actor to play the Doctor in ''
Doctor Who''. In the final episode, a picture was shown of
Christopher Eccleston and
Billie Piper morphing into Hislop and
Ann Widdecombe. This was continued in the 2006 ''Have I Got News for You'' book, in which a 'storyboard' for Hislop's first adventure as the Doctor was included.
★ Merton occasionally says "Don't you know" in a faux-posh accent when talking about class issues. A recurring theme of class warfare is often played out by Ian Hislop and Paul Merton, originating from their contrasting educational backgrounds. He most recently used it during a discussion on the dispute between
Burberry and the ferret clothing retailer, Ferret World, by saying that if he were a
ferret, he would wear a top hat and silver cane and go around saying, "I'm a ferret, don't you know."
★ Similarly, when a joke is made about
Germans, Hislop 'complains' in a German accent. This was first used while observing that the German
ambassador would carp about any mention of
World War II: "Oh, you are so backwards, you English. Why don't you just forget it all?" A recent example was in Series 30 during a discussion on how England fans are supposedly going to go to the
2006 World Cup finals in Germany wearing T-shirts displaying the
catchphrase "Don't mention the war!" in German. Hislop responded, "Even with ze football you keep saying ze same old joke!"
★ Paul Merton regularly answered questions by replying, "Is it
Lulu?", until a 2006 episode where this turned out to be correct, much to his astonishment. Since this, he has started giving "
Eamonn Holmes" as a stock answer instead.
★ In Series 31, footage of Tony Blair sweating profusely was used as often as possible.
★ On the programme broadcast
19 May 2006, Cherie Blair was reported to have said, "The Cabinet's like an Ikea cabinet. One loose screw and the whole thing falls apart." Guest Host
Alexander Armstrong introduced a clip from a "creaky old panel show": a 1993 edition in which
Derek Hatton made the same joke about
Cecil Parkinson. While it bombed on that occasion, prompting Merton to quip, "I'd cut to the song", it got a laugh this time.
★ In Series 32, references to
Liberal Democrat leader
Sir Menzies Campbell's age have been used for comical amusement. The jokes claim that his maiden speech in
Parliament was during the
Crimean War in
1855 and that he voted against the
Act of Union in
1707.
★ A new running gag is the showing of a
photo of a smiling Ian Hislop dressed in a
Scouts uniform and
hat.
Frequent targets
There are several people, places and things that are attacked and joked about more often than others. Some of the current figures of fun include ''The
Daily Mail'',
Boris Johnson,
John Prescott,
George W. Bush,
Ann Widdecombe,
Tony Blair,
Gordon Brown (in particular his smile), ''
The Daily Mirror'',
Private Eye,
Piers Morgan (who has had an ongoing row with Hislop and ''Private Eye''),
Robert Kilroy-Silk,
Jeffrey Archer and The Royal Family. ''
The Sun'' and the ''
Daily Star'' also get their fair share of abuse.
Controversy and litigation
★ When
Paula Yates appeared on the programme in
October 1995, she took offence at Hislop's verbal assaults about her relationship with
Michael Hutchence, who he accused of "beating up people", and the alleged poor quality of her autobiography, together with Merton's ad libs and Deayton's scripted jokes concerning her breast enlargement surgery. Yates eventually called Hislop the "sperm of the devil". Hislop replied with, "Even your insults emanate from the genitals." Hislop was, afterwards, criticised for being intrusive about a woman's body, although the actual recording shows that he did not say anything on that subject.
★ In a 1994 episode, Deayton read out the following: "The
BBC are cracking down on references to
Ian and
Kevin Maxwell, in case programme-makers appear biased in their treatment of these two heartless, scheming bastards." However, the Maxwell brothers were about to go on trial, and on
26 July 1996, the BBC and Hat Trick Productions were fined £20,000 in the
High Court for
Contempt of Court [11].
★ In 1996, a book based on the series, ''Have I Got 1997 for You'', noted about
Conservative MP
Rupert Allason that "...given Mr Allason's fondness for pursuing libel actions, there are also excellent legal reasons for not referring to him as a conniving little shit". Mr Allason then pursued a libel action against
BBC Worldwide and Hat Trick Productions over the remark. He lost the case.
[12]
★ After a not entirely successful first guest appearance in 1998, during which he was questioned by Hislop about a secretly recorded telephone conversation in which
Darius Guppy asked him to help beat up a journalist, future Conservative MP
Boris Johnson alleged that many of the supposedly ad libbed lines on the show were in fact scripted, writing: "The whole thing is a fix [...] Before you say that I write as one stitched up, let me confess that I was made to seem a bit of a chump."
Tony Parsons, in ''The Daily Mirror'', agreed: "What bothers the hurt hack [Boris] is not that there's a bit of preparation behind ''Have I Got News for You'', what bothers him is that he was completely unprepared to go on the box and end up looking like a prize wally." In later appearances, Johnson apologised for suggesting this and the supposed scripted nature of the show has become yet another running joke. It is now accepted that the host has a script,
autocue and all.
★ In April 2003, frequent guest panellist
Stephen Fry announced that he was boycotting the show following the sacking of Angus Deayton, a decision described by Fry as "greasy, miserable, British and pathetic".
[13]
DVD
★ ''The Very Best of Have I Got News for You'' (2002), a compilation of highlights from the first 13 years of the show, from the beginning up until the episode made after Deayton hit the tabloids. Just over three hours long, and another several hours of extras, including, among other things, running commentary of the whole presentation by Merton and Hislop.
★ ''Have I Got News for You: The Best of the Guest Presenters'' (2003), which, as well as including the normal half-hour cut of Boris Johnson's first guest-hosting, also included a bonus disc, "The Full Boris", which showed a far longer cut of the same episode (lasting slightly under 60 minutes). Slightly longer versions of the shows featuring
William Hague,
Martin Clunes and
Bruce Forsyth as chair were also included, as well as a compilation of clips from other presenters' appearances (with only the episode hosted by
Liza Tarbuck not represented). There are also several small extra features, including a discussion between Paul Merton and Boris Johnson regarding Johnson's appearance as presenter, filmed during his interview on the Merton-hosted ''
Room 101''.
★ ''Have I Got News for You: The Best of the Guest Presenters Vol. 2'' (2005), which is nearer in content to the first "Best of" DVD compilation than its direct predecessor. It contains four 45-minute compilations of the Autumn 2003, Spring 2004, Autumn 2004 and Spring 2005 series, rather than complete episodes; although it does contain a bonus disc with an uncut version of Boris Johnson's second stint as presenter. This episode lasts about 80 minutes.
Video exclusives
Three VHS videos were released, two containing specially made editions of the programme:
★ ''Unbroadcastable Have I Got News for You'' (1995), featuring guests Eddie Izzard, Richard Wilson and a surprise appearance from Germaine Greer (specially produced).
★ ''Classic Battles & Bust-Ups'' (1996), three full-length episodes featuring the Tub of Lard, Paula Yates and Germaine Greer, among others.
★ ''Have I Got News for You: The Official Pirate Video'' (1997), featuring guests Martin Clunes and Neil Morrissey (specially produced).
Video podcasts
The ''Have I Got News For You'' vodcast on the
YouTube homepage
''Have I Got News for You'' started broadcasting a
vodcast called ''The Inevitable Internet Spin-off'' on
13 April 2007.
These podcasts will take place for the next six series, meaning that the show will be broadcast until at least 2009. They are available from both the
''Have I Got News for You'' BBC website page and the video sharing community
YouTube, where they are regularly featured on the home page and the BBC's official channel.
Appearances and guest presenters
Many guests have appeared on the programme more than once, and, since the departure of Deayton, many celebrities have acted as guest presenters on the show. ''(List complete up to end of Series 33)''
Other TV shows based on the ''Have I Got News for You'' format
Similar shows based on the ''Have I Got News for You'' format exist in other countries:
★ Dutch comedian
Raoul Heertje appeared on the original ''Have I Got News for You'' in May 1995. A year later he became team captain in the newly launched Dutch version of the show: ''
Dit was het nieuws'' ("This was the news"). The show gradually developed into a very successful programme.
Dutch Wikipedia info
★ In
Finland a show called ''
Uutisvuoto'' (literally "newsleak"; the pun works as well in both languages) has been aired since 1998.
★ In
Australia,
Paul McDermott hosted ''
Good News Week'' (GNW), first on
ABC TV and later on
Network Ten from 1996 to 2000. The Ten version also had a weekend broadcast, ''Good News Weekend'', taking its format from ''
Never Mind the Buzzcocks''. In 2001, the company behind the recently cancelled GNW developed a similar program called ''
The Glass House'' on ABC TV. This show was cancelled in October 2006.
★
Sveriges Television of
Sweden aired their version of the show called ''
Snacka om nyheter'' between 1995 and 2003.
★
Denmark briefly had a version of the show.
★ In
Norway the Norwegian Broadcasting Company broadcasts the show ''
Nytt PÃ¥ Nytt'' (literally: "The News Anew"). It is one of the most popular TV shows in the country with 1.3 million viewers every week.
★ Loosely based on the theme of ''Have I Got News for You'',
ITV in the
United Kingdom aired a show in 2004 called ''
Bognor or Bust'', also fronted by Angus Deayton, which discusses current affairs.
★ In
Israel, a similar show called "
Mishak Makhur" ran for 54 episodes.
★ In
Ireland,
RTÉ made one pilot episode of a licensed ''Have I Got News for You'' clone, with
Dermot Morgan as the presenter sometime in the early 1990s. It was never named or made into a full series. However, a topical news and current affairs quiz appeared entitled ''
Don't Feed the Gondolas'', which was comparable to a cross between ''Have I Got News for You'' and ''
Never Mind the Buzzcocks''.
★ Germany has (or had) a version called "7 Tage, 7 Koepfe" (literally "Seven Days, Seven Heads")
★ Inspired by ''Have I Got News for You'',
Pakistan's ''
News, Views & Confused'' went on air on one of Pakistan’s leading TV channels,
AAJ TV from April 11, 2007. The show is hosted by TV personality and journalist
Fasi Zaka and co-hosted by eccentric journalist and writer,
Nadeem F. Paracha and fashion journalist, Mohsin Sayeed.
See also
★
List of Have I Got News For You episodes
External links
★
BBC Homepage for ''Have I Got News for You''
★
Off The Telly's "I Hope The Lawyers Are Getting All This!" - the ''Have I Got News for You'' story by former ''Have I Got News for You'' webmaster Matthew Rudd (3 parts)
★
UK Gameshows Page: ''Have I Got News for You''
★
Hat Trick Productions, who make the show
★
The H2G2 edited entry for ''Have I Got News for You''
★
BBC Article on Angus Deayton's 'mauling'
★
References
1. Chortle.co.uk A lot more news for you. Accessed 20 April, 2007.
2. ''The Very Best of Have I Got News for You'' (2002): DVD commentary
3. BBC News: Show goes on after Deayton exit
4. ''The South Bank Show'', September 26, 1999
5. ''The South Bank Show'', September 26, 1999
6. ''The South Bank Show'', September 26, 1999
7. IMDB episode listing
8. ''The South Bank Show'', September 26, 1999
9. Quote taken from a show on Merton's "and this is me PAUL MERTON" tour of 1999, as featured in ''The South Bank Show'' on September 26, 1999
10. ''Have I Got News for You: The Best of the Guest Presenters Vol. 2'' DVD — "The A to Z of HIGNFY" (E is for Editing)
11. www.swarb.co.uk/lisc/Contempt_of_Court
12. BBC News: Ex-Tory MP loses libel action
13. BBC News: Fry boycotts 'pathetic' quiz
★ ''Have I Got News for You: The Shameless Cash-in Book'', BBC Books, 1994, ISBN 0-563-37111-0
★ ''Have I Got 1997 for You'', BBC Books, 1996, ISBN 0-563-38783-1
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