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'Living Apart Together' (abbreviation: LAT) is a term for couples who, whilst committed to each other, decide to have separate homes rather than one shared residence.
Although not heavily studied, such studies as do exist suggest that in the UK at least, almost as many couples are LAT as are cohabiting, with numbers estimated in the millions.^[1] The majority of LAT's are devoted couples who have made a deliberate decision to keep separate domestic residences (the "gladly apart") with two minorities identified as being the "regretfully apart" (due to work commitments, family responsibilities, legal/residency requirements, or other reasons) and the "undecidedly apart" (committed but not especially moving towards cohabitation at the time).

Contents

LAT research

Demographics

The decision to live apart

Professional views

Example LAT's

Sources

References

See also

LAT research

Sweden, which has witnessed similar trends to the UK in marriage, divorce and people living alone, has seen LAT's rise from 6% in 1993 to more than 14% in 2001/02. Two UK studies support this - research at Oxford University by John Haskey (2005) estimating up to 2 million UK couples were living separately, and research by Professor Sasha Roseneil of the University of Leeds (''On Not Living With A Partner'', 2007).

Demographics

Whilst living apart is "popular among younger people" ¹, the studies found "hundreds of thousands" of couples age 35 - 59 choosing separate living as well, including an estimated 14% of 50 - 59 year olds. Roseneil's conclusion includes that LAT are on the increase, and other experts are stated to agree that LAT's are "now part of the social landscape".¹

The decision to live apart

Although research is far from conclusive as to motive, common themes suggested¹ include the benefits to both individual and joint lives it confers on the couple and also on their children. LAT couples claim that these include:
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★ LAT having "kept their relationship fresh while providing the ideal environment in which to bring up [...] children".¹
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★ Having both a relationship and one's own space is a treat.^[2]
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★ The anticipation of time together always being special.²
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★ Having bases in two cultures – for example both a busy city and a country village.²
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★ Freedom to do things without consultation, and the freedom not to do things in one's own abode.²
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★ Independent finances and homes meaning that financial dispute and negotiation is not a source of friction in the relationship.²
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★ Ability to focus on work or one's own activities without interruption at times when one wishes to work.¹
Reasons also include emotional bases, for example "because a previous cohabiting relationship has broken down, or they do not want to impose a new partner on children from a previous relationship." ¹

Professional views

Whilst professionals appear to consider LAT's a viable lifestyle, it is a largely untested lifestyle on a large scale, and it seems that no studies have as yet examined the benefits, costs, and other facets of LAT in depth - for example, there are no long term studies as yet of the parenting implications. As such, some concerns have been raised that social fragmentation may lead to "low grade" problems for society, if couples are too independent so that they act more as a large pool of single parents.

Example LAT's

The Times cites the follwoing examples of LAT's: Woody Allen and Mia Farrow (different homes either side of Central Park, New York), Margaret Drabble and Michael Holroyd (married 24 years as of 2007, separate homes), Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton (one child, two houses next door to each other in Hampstead, London), and Booker prizewinner Arundhati Roy and husband Pradip Krishen (separate homes in Delhi, India).¹

Sources

★ "Couples that live apart . . . stay together" ''The Times'', 12 May 2007
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★ Related Times article: "Why we love this singular relationship", 12 May 2007

References

1. "Couples that live apart . . . stay together" ''The Times'', 12 May 2007: "New research estimates that there are now as many as two million couples who, despite being in a committed relationship, live separately. The number of couples who live apart together (LATs) is now roughly the same as those who live under the same roof. [...] Her findings bear out the first research on British LATs conducted by the University of Oxford research fellow John Haskey, who in 2005 estimated that up to two million couples were living in separate homes."
2. "Why we love this singular relationship", 12 May 2007

See also

★ Love

★ Trust

★ Affectional bond

★ Intimate relationship

★ Loving relationship

★ Long distance relationship

★ Pair bonding

★ Cohabitation

★ Companionate love

★ Significant other

★ Polyamory

★ Marriage

★ List of lifestyles