MOE SZYSLAK

'Morris "Moe" Lester Szyslak' (pronounced //) is a fictional character on the animated series ''The Simpsons'', voiced by Hank Azaria. Moe is the proprietor and bartender of "Moe's Tavern", a Springfield bar frequented by Barney Gumble, Homer Simpson, Carl Carlson, Lenny Leonard and others.

Biography

Moe Szyslak either immigrated to the United States from Holland^[1] or was born in Indiana.^[2] As a child, he played the part of "Smelly", a tough kid, on ''The Little Rascals'' until he killed Alfalfa for stealing his bit and was fired. At some unspecified time during his childhood, his parents dropped him off at summer
camp, never to return and pick him up.^[3] As a young man, Moe became a professional boxer, going by the names "Kid Gorgeous", "Kid Presentable", "Kid Gruesome", and "Kid Moe." Moe blames his boxing career for making him ugly. According to Moe, his boxing career ended because of politics, and because he was knocked out 40 times in a row. Moe's ugliness caused him to audition unsuccessfully for a part in "''It Never Ends''", a soap opera. His current appearance has been described as consisting of "cauliflower ear, lizard lips, little rat eyes, caveman brow and fish snout" in the episode "Pygmoelian".
After attending bartending school at Swigmore University (a play on Swarthmore College), Moe opened up his own drinking establishment, "Moe's Tavern."^[4] As an adult, Moe's life centers around running Moe's Tavern where, except for the few instances where he hires temporary help, he is the only employee. His most loyal customer is Barney Gumble, with other regulars including Homer Simpson, Lenny Leonard, Carl Carlson, Sam, and Larry. Moe is notoriously cheap with his customers, refusing to give them free drinks, or throwing them out when they are out of money.
Moe generally serves Duff beer on tap, having little knowledge of liquors or wines; the liquor bottles visible behind the bar are said to be "painted on," and in one instance, he unknowingly sells a bottle of Château Latour for a few dollars. He enthusiastically abandons his bar, its regular customers, and his friends when a better opportunity comes along, such as the drink "The Flaming Moe", the opening of his postmodern bar "M", and the conversion of his bar into a family-themed restaurant called Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag.
Moe is often engaged in shady or illegal activities at his tavern, including smuggling pandas and orcas, hosting Russian roulette games, operating an unlicensed casino, serving liquor without a license (his expired in 1973 and it's only good in Rhode Island), running a speakeasy during Springfield's brief flirtation with Prohibition, and performing unlicensed surgery in his bar.

Handsome Moe after plastic surgery.

Moe's temperament is characterized by a short, violent temper, coupled with homicidal and suicidal tendencies and a proclivity towards obsessive behaviors. These traits are exhibited in his behavior, including frequently attempting suicide (including an annual attempt on Christmas and in the episode "Mommie Beerest;" after his bar was closed by the health department, Moe calls the suicide hotline and discovers that they’ve blocked his number), keeping an enemies list nearly identical to that of Richard Nixon, assuming a leading role in many of Springfield's angry mobs, kidnapping Talking Heads vocalist David Byrne, using his b-boy skills for self-defense, shooting at Carl with a shotgun, robbing Homer of expensive pants, keeping Hans Moleman under his bar's floorboards in a subterranean torture chamber, perpetrating insurance fraud ("Dumbbell Indemnity"), and stalking various townspeople. This behavior is further exhibited in ''The Simpsons Movie'' when he becomes the self-proclaimed "Emperor of Springfield" when the town is destroyed. His leadership is challenged by Barney Gumble who throws a Molotov Cocktail at him, which Moe successfully throws back.
Moe has a strained love life due to his vulgarity towards women and his ugly appearance. Despite this, Moe has had a number of romantic experiences, including sleeping with his bartender Collette, ^[5] planning to elope with Edna Krabappel,^[6] dating a woman named Renee,
^[7] dating a woman named Betty,^[8] and enjoying the company of many women after he had plastic surgery to correct his ugly appearance (''pictured'').^[9] He has long been infatuated with Marge Simpson (whom he often refers to as ''Midge'') and has on occasion professed his love for her and tried to win her away from Homer.^[10]^[11]^[12]^[13]^[14] Moe's romantic attractions have resulted in criminal behavior and run-ins with the law; he has stalked Maude Flanders and other townspeople, he must register as a sex offender, and he had a restraining order placed upon him. At one point he is seen on his way to a "V.D. clinic".^[15] Moe has also proposed marriage to a WNBA mascot, even knowing that the character inside the mascot is a male, Gil.
On occasion, Moe expresses genuine love and sentimentality. He has a cat named Mr. Snookums, of whom he is very fond. Moe is also kind towards the rats that live in his bar. On Wednesday nights, he reads to the homeless in a local soup kitchen and he also reads to sick children at the hospital. Until it was destroyed, Moe had a fondness for a jar of pickled eggs. He saved the owner of King Toot's music store and his wife from a flaming car. He saved the life of Maggie Simpson and took efforts to protect her. Moe engaged in charity work in South America or Africa, using a flying fan to fight forest fires and deliver medical supplies to peoples devastated by floods. Moe has demonstrated knowledge of automobiles and dancing.^[16]

Pranks

Bart's prank calls

Moe receiving a prank call from Bart Simpson.

In the early years of ''The Simpsons'', Moe was the frequent target of Bart Simpson's prank phone calls. Bart would call Moe's Tavern and ask for an individual by his or her name. Unbeknownst to Moe, the name was a double entendre. When Moe would call aloud the individual's name (always in the context that makes the double entendre funny -- for example, "Hey, fellas, I need Amanda Hugginkiss!"), the bar's patrons would laugh and Moe, realizing he had been had, would utter a series of threats into the phone. For instance: "If I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna gut you like a fish, and drink your blood" another example would be: "If I ever catch you I'm gonna pull your eyes out and shove 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap out of you, then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat". Some of the names used by Bart in these phone calls include:

★ Al Coholic ("Alcoholic") 'Moe's response:' "Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!" ("Some Enchanted Evening")

★ Oliver Clozsoff ("All of her clothes off") 'Moe's response:' Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!" (shouts at Marge Simpson, who wants to call for a babysitter ("Some Enchanted Evening")

★ I.P. Freely ("I pee freely") 'Moe's response:' "Listen to me, you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!" ("Homer's Odyssey")

★ Jacques Strap ("Jock strap") 'Moe's response:' "It's you, isn't ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!" ("Moaning Lisa")

★ Seymour Butz ("See more butts") 'Moe's response:' "Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-pucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!" ("One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish")

★ Mike Rotch ("My crotch") 'Moe's response:' "Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!" ("Blood Feud")

★ Hugh Jass ("Huge ass" This actually backfired on Bart when a man with the same name answered the call) from ("Flaming Moe's")

★ Bea O'Problem ("B.O. problem") 'Moe's response:' "Listen, when I get a hold of you, I'm gonna use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!" ("Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk")

★ Amanda Hugginkiss ("A man to hug and kiss") 'Moe's response:' "You little S.O.B.! Why, if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!" ("New Kid on the Block")

★ Ivanna Tinkle ("I wanna tinkle") 'Moe's response:' None ("New Kid on the Block")

★ Ollie Tabugar ("I'll eat a booger") (backfired when Homer was running the tavern, who knew about the prank and "didn't get" the joke) ("Homer the Moe")

★ Heywood U. Cuddleme ("Hey would you cuddle me?") (via morse code) 'Moe's morse code response:' "I'm gonna drive a golden spike where your Union meets your Central Pacific!" ("Helter Shelter")

★ Homer Sexual ("Homosexual") (Bart was supposed to call his father for Principal Skinner) 'Moe's response:' "You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!" (accidentally shouts at Principal Skinner, who grabbed the phone from Bart, upon realizing it's Skinner, Moe apologizes and tells Homer "You kid's in trouble again.") ("Principal Charming")

★ In "Treehouse of Horror II" Bart could read thoughts, so Moe, not wanting to upset him called out "Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid ugly moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt".

Other pranks

★ When Moe acted as a substitute teacher at Springfield Elementary School, he unknowingly took attendance aloud in a similar manner, calling for students Anita Bath ("I need a bath") and Maya Butreeks ("My butt reeks"). The students all laugh at him, and Moe leaves crying thinking they're laughing at his ears.

★ In "Bart on the Road" Lisa dared Homer to call up and prank call Moe. He asked for Eura Snotball ("You're a snotball"). Moe said the phrase out loud, which prompted Homer to threaten him in the same manner Moe threatens Bart.

★ In "Homer the Smithers", he misinterpreted an honest query from Mr. Burns who was calling for Waylon Smithers, to be a prank phone call.

★ In "The Way We Weren't" Marge Simpson, as a child, asks child Moe for Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar (young Homer's pseudonym). Moe then breaks the fourth wall by looking straight at the audience and saying "Well, thats the origin of that".

★ In "Moe'N'a Lisa", Moe mistakes a call from Tom Wolfe for a prank call.

Origin of character

Moe with a pink apron and black hair

Moe's character was based on Tube Bar owner Louis "Red" Deutsch as well as comedian Rich Hall. Hank Azaria stated that Moe's voice was based on that of Al Pacino's character in ''Dog Day Afternoon'' with a raspy tinge, and a bar going by the name Moe's Tavern can be seen opposite the bank in the film. According the commentary to "Who Shot Mr. Burns?" (Part 1), the creators used the last name 'Szyslak' (which they got from a phonebook) so the character would have the initials M.S., and hence could be a suspect in the Burns shooting.

References

External links

★ The Moe Szyslak File at The Simpsons Archive

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MOE SZYSLAK

Biography

Pranks

Bart's prank calls

Other pranks

Origin of character

References

See also

External links

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