"'The Regina Monologues'" is the fourth episode of ''
The Simpsons''
' fifteenth season, which originally aired
November 23,
2003.
[ Blair lined up for Simpsons debut ] It was written by
John Swartzwelder, and directed by
Mark Kirkland.
[ The Simpsons: 17 Seasons, 17 Episodes Goldman, Eric; Dan Iverson, Brian Zoromski ] Guest starring
Jane Leeves as Edwina and
Tony Blair,
Evan Marriott,
Sir Ian McKellen and
J. K. Rowling as themselves.
[ The Regina Monologues ] It was the first episode in which the entire family went to Europe, and the first time a government minister provided his own voice to the show in a guest star role.
Plot

Tony Blair blasting off
Mr Burns withdraws a $1000 bill from an ATM, but he drops it and an updraft carries it away to the Simpsons' house, where Bart and Milhouse are playing a vicious video game(Hockey Dad). It flies straight into Milhouse's hair and Bart removes it and keeps it, claiming that it was a ladybug. Bart wonders what to do with the bill, but Marge tells him and Homer to put up fliers so that the person who lost it can reclaim it. Soon, there is a long line of people outside the Simpsons' house, all claiming the bill. No one can describe it correctly and Lisa suggests that they spend the money on Marge, who wants a vacation, but decides against it because Homer always manages to ruin it. The next day, Bart displays the $1000 bill in school for his friends to see. When Milhouse offers him 25 cents to see it again, he gets an idea and sets up a museum in his tree house, naming it "The Museum of Modern Bart". The museum is a resounding success, however, when Mr. Burns comes in and sees the bill, he claims it as his. When asked for proof of ownership, he shows Bart the bills indentation on his chest (when the bill was ejected from the ATM machine, it hit Burns in the chest, knocking him backwards before it was swept off) Bart is forced to give it back and close his museum, due to the fact that now that there is no $1000 bill, no-one is interested in Bart's museum. Lisa says that they have managed to collect $3000 from the museum so it doesn't matter anymore. Bart wants to spend it on a used Toyota. Lisa then reminds him that Marge has never had an enjoyable vacation. Bart feels upset, looks at Marge and decides to go on a vacation. Grandpa suggests using the money to go to London, where he hopes to meet Edwina once more, a girl he met there during the war.
The family travels to London and are greeted by the then British Prime Minister Tony Blair, whom Homer confuses with Mr. Bean. They start seeing the sights, while Grandpa stays at the hotel, trying to contact Edwina. The children go on a "sugar rush" after discovering the joys of British chocolate. The family go on to meet J.K. Rowling and Sir Ian McKellen.
Marge is astonished that Homer is behaving himself and they rent a Mini Cooper and start to drive around London. Unfortunately, they get stuck on a roundabout. After driving in circles for hours, Homer decides to break out of it and plows straight through the gates of Buckingham Palace and slams straight into Queen Elizabeth II's horse drawn carriage. Unaware of whom he has just knocked down, he tries to brush the incident under the carpet, but the Scots Guardsmen start beating him with cudgels. Then comes the Changing of the Guard, and the new Scots Guardsmen continue to beat him mercilessly. This supposedly continues until the Queen's mention or when they run out of Guards.

Homer meets Abbie.
Homer is put on trial for causing harm to the Queen as well as wrecking her carriage. He calls the Queen an impostor, since her luggage is inscribed "H.R.H." which he believes is short for "Henrietta R. Hippo". The Queen, highly offended, then demands that he be executed. He is taken away to the Tower of London where he awaits his execution and then his head is planned to be stuck on a pike. Near the fireplace in his cell, he prays to "the God of England" and displays the frequent mistaken American impression that British people prefer to use the metric system. His family call him from outside and Lisa tells him that he can use a secret tunnel that Sir Walter Raleigh built. For that, he must push a brick in the fireplace, which he manages on his second attempt(his first attempt failing as he forgot to put out the fire first). However, the tunnel leads straight into the Queen's bedroom. The Queen whistles for her guards and they rush in. Homer pleads with the Queen to find it in her "jewel encrusted heart" to forgive him. Finally, he is allowed to leave England as long as they take Madonna with them to America. Just as they are about to leave, Edwina shows up and meets Grandpa. She introduces them to Abbie, her 58-year-old daughter, who looks and sounds like Homer in drag. Abe cannot bear the thought of having ''another'' Homer in his life, so he bolts. However, Homer seems to think that Abbie is quite attractive, perhaps showing signs of Genetic Sexual Attraction.
Production
Tony Blair recorded his part for the episode in April 2003.[1]
David Beckham was originally sought to guest star in the episode, but it was deemed that he was not famous enough in America and so was not approached.[2] The plot of Homer hitting the Queen's carriage was recycled from a spec script Jean and Reiss wrote for ''The Golden Girls'' in which Dorothy Zbornak hit Mother Theresa with her car.[3]
Cultural references

J. K. Rowling.
★ ''Hertz rent-a-car'' - The Simpsons rent a Mini Cooper from an "'Ertz" rent-a-car branch. This is a parody of the Hertz corporation.
★ ''007'' movies — The series is parodied twice: in the scene where former Prime Minister Tony Blair greets the Simpsons, then blasts off on a jetpack á la ''Thunderball'' (the ''007'' theme plays); and in the scene where Homer spots Bart and Lisa from the London Eye, pulls a lever and the whole car detaches from the Eye, before skimming across the River Thames.
★ ''The Brady Bunch'' — The first act plot — where Bart happens upon a $1,000 bill and Marge subsequently tells him to advertise for its rightful owner — is inspired by the 1970 episode "The Treasure of Sierra Avenue."
★ ''British Newspapers'' - After Homer is arrested and sent to the Tower of London, British tabloid newspapers are seen with various headlines complete with correct typefaces (except The Daily Mail) - center-left tabloid ''The Mirror'', the right-wing broadsheet ''The Times'' the right-wing paper ''The Daily Mail'' and the left wing tabloid ''The Sun'' . The Times and The Sun are owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation, and that The Times is no longer printed in broadsheet.
★ "The Cherry Orchard" — The play, written by Russian playwright Anton Chekhov, is used as a sly dig at ''Joe Millionaire'', where star Evan Marriott admits he doesn't have a cherry orchard, much like in the show where he admits he was not a millionaire.
★ "Harry Potter" - When J. K. Rowling is met by the family, Lisa tells her that she shows deep infatuation with the titular character. After asking what would be the ending of the series, Rowling sarcastically replies that the character will grow up and marry Lisa.

Sir Ian McKellen greets the Simpsons.
★ "Macbeth" curse — The old theater superstition is parodied when Sir Ian McKellen is repeatedly injured after Homer repeatedly mentions the name of the Shakespeare play ("What, Macbeth?").
★ Museum of Modern Art — The "Museum of Modern Bart" is an obvious pun.
★ ''New Zoo Revue'' — Homer's insistence that The Queen's real name is Henrietta R. Hippo (thanks to the monogram on the Her Royal Highness' night bag [although the Queen is "Her Majesty", not "Her Royal Highness"]) recalls the hippo character on the 1970s children's TV show.
★ ''National Lampoon's European Vacation'' — The scene where Homer endlessly circles the roundabout spoofs a similar scene in the 1985 movie, where Clark Griswold keeps driving around the roundabout adjacent to Lambeth Bridge.
★ ''Partridge Family 2200 A.D.'' — Bart's "Moon Party" sequence is likely a reference to the 1970s Saturday morning cartoon. Also appearing: ''Star Wars'' character R2-D2 (playing the bass).
★ Sir Walter Raleigh - The tunnel leading from the Tower of London to the Queen's bedroom in Buckingham Palace may be a reference to a rumour that Raleigh carried out an affair with the never-married Queen Elizabeth I.
★ ''Trainspotting'' — Bart and Lisa appear in a room with trains on the wallpaper. Maggie crawls on the ceiling as Iggy Pop's "Lust for Life" plays in the background. Also when Bart and Lisa are running they go by the same route used by Ewan McGregor at the start of the film most notably as they go down the stairs.
★ ''The Vagina Monologues'' — The episode title is a pun on Eve Ensler's play; Regina is substituted as the Latin word for Queen.
★ The scene between Lord Daftwager and his "lover" is a parody of the premise of the musical ''My Fair Lady''.
★ Manchester United midfielder Ryan Giggs is mentioned by Homer when he questions the yellow card (sports) given to Giggs.
★ In complimenting his half-sister, Homer says "You make Dame Edna look like a dude." Dame Edna Everage is a famous character of comedian Barry Humphries.
★ Homer sees Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page from the London Eye and calls him "one of the greatest thieves of American black music ever to walk the Earth".
Reception
IGN.com named the episode the best of the fifteenth season, saying that "It may not be the best episode ever, but hell if it isn't a lot of fun", as well as calling it "extremely funny" and a "high point for the past few seasons."[ It currently holds a rating of "good" with a score of 7.6/10 at TV.com,[4] and a score of 7.4/10 at the Internet Movie Database.]
Trivia
This episode was to be the final episode written by John Swartzwelder who has written one-sixth of all Simpson shows and worked as a consultant writer since Season One. After this episode, Swartzwelder was to work on drafts for The Simpsons Movie. It is rumoured that Swartzwelder will return to write in the nineteenth season after the movie is released.
References
1. Tony Blair a 'Simpsons' guest star
2. D'oh! The Simpsons say no to Becks!
3.
4. The Regina Monologues
External links
★ "The Regina Monologues" at The Simpsons.com
★ "The Regina Monologues" at TV.com
★ "The Regina Monologues" at the Internet Movie Database