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The phrase '"with all due respect"' is frequently used in English to soften constructive criticism that another person might otherwise find to be personally offensive. It assures the person being spoken to that no offense was intended, and that the speaker has no wish for this criticism to affect the nature of his relationship with the person being criticized.
Most often used preceding the subject of the criticism, it is somewhat less frequently used after the criticism has been given-- sometimes in a moment of panic about having just said that, or in response to the immediate reaction of the person being spoken to.
"With all due respect" can be used both sincerely and facetiously; most of the time the person being spoken to can determine that by the person's tone, much as with many phrases. When used sincerely, it is usually between two people who ''genuinely'' respect or love each other, or by someone who doesn't really know the other person all that well and doesn't want to get off on the wrong foot.
When used facetiously, the speaker's motivation could be to escape the consequences that would otherwise ensue from having so plainly spoken his or her mind; in this manner it is quite often directed to someone who has the ability to punish the speaker for saying what they did (such as a boss or parent), or to someone the speaker really ''doesn't'' like.
In any event, the phrase tends to have the opposite effect of what's really intended-- it for the most part puts people right on the defensive[1]-- and unless used in a genuine and conciliatory tone, most people can see right through it.
[2]
Most often used preceding the subject of the criticism, it is somewhat less frequently used after the criticism has been given-- sometimes in a moment of panic about having just said that, or in response to the immediate reaction of the person being spoken to.
"With all due respect" can be used both sincerely and facetiously; most of the time the person being spoken to can determine that by the person's tone, much as with many phrases. When used sincerely, it is usually between two people who ''genuinely'' respect or love each other, or by someone who doesn't really know the other person all that well and doesn't want to get off on the wrong foot.
When used facetiously, the speaker's motivation could be to escape the consequences that would otherwise ensue from having so plainly spoken his or her mind; in this manner it is quite often directed to someone who has the ability to punish the speaker for saying what they did (such as a boss or parent), or to someone the speaker really ''doesn't'' like.
In any event, the phrase tends to have the opposite effect of what's really intended-- it for the most part puts people right on the defensive[1]-- and unless used in a genuine and conciliatory tone, most people can see right through it.
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