Plan your honeymoon without ruining your relationship

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Usually, I plan out every aspect of my vacation and dig through the depths of the internet to find great deals. But when planning my honeymoon a few months ago, I needed to reconcile my inner control freak with my hubby-to-be’s inner Buddha and figure out how to plan the trip without driving each other crazy. While I can’t say we didn’t have our disagreements about where to go and what to do, following five key steps made our lives much easier. In the end, we went where we both wanted to go and did what we each wanted to do. It was perfectly peaceful and romantic, the way a honeymoon should be. So get started!

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1. Figure out your budget.
I don’t believe in going into debt for any reason, let alone your vacation. As soon as you get engaged, start saving a bit of your paycheck every month, preferably by automatically deducting it from your check and putting it in a savings account, or automatically transferring it from your checking to savings account. No matter how you do it, save-in the end it’ll save you a lot of stress. You can even register for a honeymoon at sites such as TheHoneymoon and Honeyfund and have your guests help you pay for it. However, be sure to check the fine print to avoid unexpected fees. Please don’t specifically ask for cash to fund the honeymoon though-that’s just tacky.

If, even after your diligence, you still don’t have enough to go to your dream destination, don’t fret! There are lots of amazing places to go, and you have a lifetime to visit them. Go where you can afford to go so you don’t start off your marriage fighting about finances.

2. Decide where to go.
Make a list with your SO. Where does he or she dream of going? Which destinations have you read about or seen on TV? Do you want to go back to a favorite destination, or check out a new one? Write everything down and see which locations you both have in common. I keep a list of all the places I want to go in my lifetime, and used this as a starting point.

3. Determine what the theme will be.
In addition to agreeing on where to go, you’ll also need to determine what you want to do. Do you want to sit on a beach all day, every day in the Caribbean? Do you want to spend your time going from museum to museum trying to find your favorite impressionist painting in Europe? Does the idea of zooming down a zip-line through the jungles of Belize sound like your ideal trip? Whatever you choose as your overall theme, be ready to compromise. If he wants to golf for a day, make an appointment at the spa or camp out by the pool, or go to that museum that would bore him to tears.

4. Do the research.
Whether you use a travel agent, like we did, or book on your own, you’ll still need to decide how you’ll get there and where to stay. For me, how to get there seemed easy: I’d been saving Delta miles for ages and had amassed over 100k. Surprise! Even booking the tickets as soon as they were available, we still spent my 100k miles on only one ticket. There are so many fare-finders out there for airfare and hotels, so do a bit of hunting to find a deal.

5. Organize your house.
When it’s time to go, ask the post office to stop your mail, bribe a friend to water your plants, ensure your pets will be looked after, set timers on your lamps to trick would-be thieves into thinking someone’s home. Oh, and please don’t leave any food on the counters for our little rodent friends to snack on in your absence. When I was little, my family would watch our neighbor’s house and go in to feed their cat. I still remember being shocked at the state in which they left their home: open containers of food, cereal and milk in a bowl on the kitchen table, and loads of dirty dishes in the sink. It was almost like they had to evacuate or something.

Remember to relax! Wedding planning is so stressful; don’t let planning the honeymoon, be, either.