I make mistakes so you don’t have to
I love a good travel adventure: getting a little mud on the tires, a few bumps and bruises and some sand in all the wrong places. I’ve been known to try just about anything in exchange for a good story; a notch on the proverbial travelling bedpost. I came, I saw, I conquered.
Alas, sometimes a gal’s feet get blistered, her brain overloads from reading too many confusing maps and an escape is not only needed but also well deserved. An all-inclusive resort vacation is just what the doc prescribed, and that’s one piece of advice I couldn’t possibly ignore.
Lucky for me I was invited on a girls-only vacation to Varadero, Cuba, complete with a solid guarantee of all the beer I could drink, hours of beach time in the sun and loads of late night sweaty dancing—the maximum amount of overindulgence I could dream of. My response was, “Ladies, you had me at beer.”
The pivotal turning point
The guilt falls on the shoulders of two parties, quite common in Cuba yet no warning was given to this first timer.
After a long, overcast day lying out on the beach, pointing and studying the billowing clouds in the distance, the girls and I heard from the staff that a potential hurricane was heading our way. “Bring it on,” we thought. There’s no way a storm warning could stop us from hitting the dance floor. We have arrived; take a hike you measly gust of hot air.
We got dolled-up in our short dresses, acceptable only for this one occasion of course, and settled into the resort lobby bar. Saying a quick hello to our bartender, affectionately nicknamed Bilbo, we ordered a round of drinks plus espressos to match.
Before I knew it we were three hours into our pre-drink and the conversation turned into “I love you girls,” followed by laughs and, “We should totally do this every year.” We became experts in balancing three espresso cups and three “Bilbo Especiales,” from the bar to our table. One drink followed one espresso. “Tres espressos, por favor,” we chimed. “Tres Bilbo Especiales, por favor,” we demanded. In no time, our little circular table was filled with tiny porcelain cups, empty packages of sugar and tall empty glasses with pineapple triangles left drowning in melted ice.
In between sips, I had noticed something unusual; the palm trees seemed especially horizontal than I had remembered them to be. We looked around, suddenly noticing the lack of other hotel guests joining our espresso binge. Taking the advice of Bilbo to stay on the resort while the storm passes, we decided to head back to our rooms and recharge our batteries; regain our strengths and tackle a night out tomorrow. We promptly fled the scene of the caffeinated crime.
The slippery slope
Of course, I couldn’t sleep. I had enough caffeine in my system to kill a small wildebeest. In what seemed like the blink of an eye, the clock read 4 a.m. and I was half way through a terrifying movie involving ventriloquist dummies that were inhabited by their late owner’s spirit.
Allow me to paint a picture—sheet covers pulled just bellow my eyes, all the lights killed, a slight twitch in my left foot, I sat through a movie that depicted story of an old crazy woman and her beloved murderous dolls. I’m not ashamed to admit I was terrified.
I jump two feet in the air, sending bed sheets flying, as I saw shadows scurry across my room. Thunder crashed and rain pelted the sliding doors, turning my attention to the balcony where figures appeared outlined in the flashing light. Somewhere between heart palpitations and the theme of Psycho playing in my head I managed to reach the light switch.
The valuable lesson
Turns out the shadows dancing on the bedroom walls and the figures moving outside my balcony (yes, the ones I was convinced were the possessed dolls coming to get me) were merely the cruel joke of a hurricane. The wind I had so crudely mocked earlier on had been throwing around the patio furniture. Case closed and lesson learned. Now I know the next time I hear a hurricane might be coming my way, the last thing I’ll do is drink my body weight in espresso, and I would advise you to do the same.